I am notorious and so critical in myself for sometimes allowing my pain to make me think in a negative mindset. Like anyone in these circumstances, sometimes it is inevitable to stop yourself from feeling down, whilst coping with pain. My thought process can often implode and spirals to create and imagine the worst circumstances and life possible for my future in disability. Why I allow myself to get to that place, I don't know but it does happen. It seems so silly and irrational in hindsight. It's even more alarming that chronic pain can often cause an individual to feel such despair. For possibly a year now, I have been trying to adapt my attitude towards living and coping with a long term, chronic illness. I believe that is potentially going to be one of my most beneficial tools in living with a long term, incurable illness.
Once I started to realise that the most beneficial tool I had was my mind, I started to really adjust my doubts against the concept of positivity. It seemed like a case of the best things in life are free, my mind being one of those. Only I had the power to use this tool and only I, could change my general outlook on the situations, thrown my way. Within this mindset, I have my faults and weaknesses, my strengths and triumphs and also some setbacks. I personally see this process as a full circle. Every time I get back to the start, the circle slightly gets smaller by a few millimetres and I start the process again. I can have the worst couple of days and then slowly start to find my feet again. Sometimes these better mindset days can last for a day or half longer than before too. I try to sit with the collected thoughts or mood I am feeling, understand why I am potentially feeling this way and attempt to accept it for what it is, hour to hour. Sometimes, we confuse pushing away our problems with positivity. There can be some days you will be consumed by negativity because of your reality with illness and that is fine. It's not a nice feeling but we shouldn't harshly punish ourselves for feeling this way. Typically, that 'baggage' that we feel we are carrying will possibly always be around within our circumstances in illness.
You only have to ask your parent, guardian or loved one how desperate they are to help you, to ease your pain and desperate for you to try any remedy, outlet or possibility of improving your health. Unfortunately, not all of these outlets of seeking help are successful. Some are short lived and others take no effect at all. I have been chronically ill for many years and my mum has spent an absolute fortune picking up help outlets, such as self help books to hypnotherapy CDs, anything to just try to help me get in a stronger mindset to cope with a life long condition, which I am so grateful for. However, sometimes it just boils down to finding the strength within yourself.