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When you live with a rare incurable illness, you feel like you are continuously revisiting parts of your life. Although you are faced with many new hurdles to cross, you are frequently reminded of the every day struggles too. Struggles many would not categorise as even being one. You are left stumped when it comes to progression in the grand scheme of things and your overall outlook of the future turns to sheer panic more often than not. It begins to feel like you are on a constant treadmill of worry, concern, fear, positivity, negativity without reaping particularly joyful benefits as often as you wish to. In being faced with so many reoccurring themes within illness, you'd think it would become second nature when they arise in your week or month. It is not always the case. Within a lot of things in life, time can be a great healer or perhaps accommodating. The longer I have lived with chronic illness, the more I have found myself questioning and trying to understand why so many live this lifestyle. Despite desperately yearning to break the recurring chain. I wonder why this has been my lifestyle for over a decade, one that everyday never ceases to amaze me in many ways. How there is nothing simple in the act of pushing through or attempting to do more, when you are consumed with multiple illnesses. I question how illnesses can be so persistent and disruptive of your lifestyle and how life can change dramatically when you lose your health.