Nice To Meet You..

Nancy . England . 21 . 

Typically, pages like such are not my style, especially since becoming chronically ill and having tendencies to define myself by the prospect of my pain. I know that many, like myself feel incredibly defined by the pain that has overtaken our everyday life. I always struggled with finding exciting facts about myself to write in boxes on social media many years back, there's only so many times you can write 'blonde' and 'love music' as an answer when you are in secondary school. I kind of accepted that if you were close to me, then you knew enough about me and a social media answer wouldn't matter in that respect. These sections are usually filled with our occupations, relationship status and other general common questions that right now, I am sadly too ill and separated from those aspects in life to answer. I hold on to great hope for those things. I have no issues with letting my guard down where I see fit, I just feel like it has to be for the right purpose. In reality, because I have dealt with chronic illness since age 13, I feel passionate about being an advocate for those who also have these obstacles. I love that my blog allows me this opportunity, to voice my opinion on topics I feel a great sense of relation to whilst also connecting me to others in similar situations. My ultimate blog goal, is to feel I've had some help in changing the public's perception of the reality of living with chronic illness for young adults and teens. 

However, I still hold back on Nancy, the daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, friend, the girl I hope that others see separate to her illness, even if sometimes, she doesn't see it herself. It felt like it was finally the right time now that I have had this blog for nearly 2 years to introduce myself a bit better. I share so much health wise but never too much personality wise. Although illness has never allowed me to search for a vast criteria of hobbies and interests, it has taught me so much about my characteristics. I am honest but kind, shy around strangers but can also hold my own around those I know, I can be hard on myself yet I am also the first to make a joke of myself in a funny situation. I'm incredibly headstrong, protective of those I love, emotional but rational, compassionate to others feelings, good at putting myself in someone's shoes, sentimental, a blessing counter, perspective seeker, quick witted and highly nostalgic. I'm talking 90's throwbacks on a weekly basis. I adore Disney both the films and the land and wish I could live there, let's be real, who doesn't?

Most importantly, I hope I find the ability to make someone laugh or smile, even when I feel in such a bad place myself, finding humour is one of the greatest things in life and I love to see that I have made someone feel this way. When my pain allows me to, even if it feels like a momentous task, having friends or family over and being reminded that even though we are parallels apart at times, they are making the effort to spend time with me for a reason. I hope they can see past the pain and see a girl their age, even if I know and try to hide the deep contrast. I have fears, goals and dreams that seem so unattainable at times, but I will never give up on those because it's all I want out of my life and as long as I have goals and I am alive, there's no reason why I can't achieve them. I will try my absolute hardest to not allow a disabling illness to take that away from me, even when it feels like it has the power to do so.

OK, I think that's probably enough for now, before I start sounding like I'm attempting some weird online dating profile!
Thank you so much for reading and welcome to my blog.